At a local dive recently…

At a local dive recently, a guy I’ve seen before at parties comes by on his way to the bar. He’s there with a group and among them is a woman I’ve also seen at local parties. They seem to be getting drinks together. He speaks to me…

“What brings you out tonight?”

– “I don’t know… A deep desire to dance perhaps?”

I’m trying to be playful. Then I decide to step it up:

– “Actually, let me correct that. I think I’m here to take one of these bar sluts home and fuck tonight.”

His face signals shock. He’s dumbfounded.

I was kidding, of course. I would never speak the truth like that in earnest.

But he didn’t get it. And to backpedal now would be uncool. So I continue…

–”You know what I mean?”

“No.”

He’s short with me now.

–”You’ve never felt like that?”

“No.”

Rapid-response denial. His face is frozen in disgust, his voice appalled.

– “You never feel like… fucking?”

“No.”

The playful vibe I was trying to spark is clearly not igniting.

At this point I’m wondering whether I should get him to swear that he has never in his life had an impure thought. Then perhaps I could top it up by getting him to deny the existence of his penis.

I turn to the girl for support. She’s a creature made of flesh and blood; surely she will understand me. But she’s standing a step away, and as I turn to her I realize that it’s probably because of her that he’s a bit uptight.

I should have sensed that this might be too much for him. Especially in the likely case that he’s trying to demonstrate to her that he’s all about poetry and lovemaking, and not at all about evil sex.

I let them off to the bar. He clearly needs a beer now.

Social interaction. The fun never ends.

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