Archive for February, 2009

Feeling desirable?

February 12, 2009

Ladies, of all the gents you know by name…

Thank you for your participation.

Gents, of all the ladies you know by name…

Thank you for your participation

Is game evil?

February 8, 2009

Yes. Game is inherently evil. That is why women cannot resist it.

But how does game (i.e. pickup, seduction, and sexual techniques) relate to feminism and more generally to the ideal of gender equality?

I am in favor of gender equality. Where females are disadvantaged, this should be mended. Where males are disadvantaged, this should be mended as well. Feminism has legitimately pushed for the former. A men’s rights movement is needed to push for the latter.

Feminists and progressives like myself tend to assume a societal power differential in favor of males. This is an assumption I do not share.

While men have been predominant as leaders in politics, industry, and academia, it is not clear to me that this reflects their greater general power. Does the person in the driver’s seat have more power than the person in the passenger seat next to him? Well, he might. But then again, he might be the chauffeur.

Men’s predominance in positions of power does not automatically indicate that they have more control over their lives or live under more favorable circumstances than women. It may alternatively reflect the greater pressure to perform, protect, and pay that males are subjected to. Consider also the fact that men are the ones predominantly doing all the least attractive and hazardous jobs.

Contrary to the notion of equality, a man is expected to give up his life to save a woman, if life ever leads him to this choice. This widely accepted rule, which we all grow up with, sends a clear message to young men: You are worth less. Men, by and large, are expected to do the killing (and endure the trauma of that experience) and the dying.

I suspect that the pressures on males contribute to their lower life expectancy. These issues are explored in great depth in Warren Farrell’s seminal book “The Myth of Male Power” (,

Gender equality will not be realized until these disadvantages for men have been removed.

But what about sexual power? In this domain, a widespread assumption is that of female predominant power and choice. If you believe this, you will agree that game, which gives power to the weaker party: men, will help level the playing field and bring us closer to gender equality.

Understanding and mastery of pickup, seduction, and sexual techniques gives us sexual power over women. This would seem fair, given that women have substantial sexual power over males and spend significant time and resources maximizing their sexual power (e.g. on clothes, cosmetics, etc.). This is the competitive aspect.

The cooperative aspect is important as well: If women and men know how to make themselves attractive to and how to please each other, both parties will be happier. Game can spawn love and save marriages by igniting and nourishing the sexual flame.

Moreover, a good man with game can attract and permanently enchant a woman who would otherwise fall for assholes sexually and marry a nice guy who cannot satisfy her. In other words, game has the potential to circumvent the undesirable effects of female sexual preferences (including the sexual preference for assholes). Good men getting sexy is a major positive effect of the pickup movement for women (and of course also for men).

Game gives us power – it depends on each man’s character whether he will use this power for good or evil.

Is fellatio primarily a male or a female fantasy?

February 2, 2009

Home alone one afternoon when I was 15, I picked up my mother’s Cosmopolitan magazine and came across an article about fellatio. The piece referred to it as “every guy’s dream” and “something women do not like to do”.

This was puzzling to me because it contradicted my own experience. I was a virgin at the time, so I had no evidence as to whether women did or did not like to do it. But I knew that the other assertion – that it was every guy’s dream – did not fit my own experience. I had been masturbating for at least three years, but never once fantasized about fellatio.

In the months that followed, I experimented with fellatio imagery. However, it didn’t really work for me, and I ended up going back to remembering advertisements (a beautiful model’s face in profile, another one’s skinny legs) and glimpses of the hot girl one class above me at school, and imagining their pussies. This was the imagery that worked to make me come.

It was my first girlfriend’s initiative that brought fellatio back to me years later. She said she wanted to try it and so I let her. It was hot to see her do it, but despite the fact that I would come quite quickly every time we fucked, I could not come at all in her mouth. And though it became part of our repertoire over the months that followed, I did not come this way until much later. It was as though evolution itself, a deep voice within me, was calmly delivering its mantra: “Incorrect orifice. Do not, repeat, do not discharge the load.”

Or was it nurture, instead of nature, reminding me that this was “something women do not like to do”, and that I should therefore not come in her mouth? Perhaps this played a role as well. But then, she was the one who wanted this and made it happen. And she was all excited when we rented “Deep Throat” (, the legendary movie, from our local artsy video store. I was all innocent.

It was through the efforts of a series of girlfriends that I came to enjoy fellatio and learned to come in the process. So based on my personal experience, I’d say that it’s primarily a female fantasy and an acquired taste for men – and I suspect that the reverse may hold for cunnilingus.

Recently I found the claim from Cosmopolitan echoed by Erica Jong, I think it was, in an interview in the interesting documentary movie “Inside deep throat” ( And as I watched her say it, I could not help but feel that she was insincere: taking her cues not from her own sexual experience, but from her political convictions, which – by and large – I do suspect I share.