Double-date bench sitting arrangements

When a double date sits down on a bench, there are 12 possible boy-girl arrangements. However, it turns out that all we need to remember is that sex-interlaced is best and that the center couple has the best chance to connect and get excited (b2 g1-b1 g2). However, if there are to be two hookups, then the girl for the higher priority one should sit outside (b2-g2 b1-g1).

Let me explain why…

The bench could be straight or around a corner. To a first approximation, the Euclidean distance between two people may reflect and shape the current attraction dynamic: Those sitting closer may be or become more attracted to each other.

The 12 possible boy-girl arrangements (not counting symmetrical redundant arrangements) are as follows:

Sex blocks
(1) b1 b2 g1 g2
(2) b2 b1 g1 g2
(3) b1 b2 g2 g1
(4) b2 b1 g2 g1

(5) b1 g1 b2 g2
(6) b2 g1 b1 g2
(7) b1 g2 b2 g1
(8) b2 g2 b1 g1

Girl core
(9) b1 g1 g2 b2
(10) b2 g1 g2 b1

Boy core
(11) g1 b1 b2 g2
(12) g2 b1 b2 g1

So what is the ideal arrangement?

It depends on the goals. Often the goal is for one of the boys (b1) is to seduce one of the girls (g1), but the other boy (b2) has no or less definite plans with the other girl (g2).

In that case, obviously, b1 and g1 should sit next to each other. But this leaves several possible arrangements.

If the idea is to give b1 a chance at isolation with g1, then the best arrangement is: g1 b1 b2 g2 (boy core). However, isolation is not a group setting. If isolation really is the goal, then it might be preferable for the boys to split, each with his girl.

If a group interaction is to be maintained and the b1-g1 hookup is the only priority, then b1 and g1 should sit in the middle: this makes them the center of attention, boosting their value and excitement.

This leaves us with two arrangements:
(a) sex block:              b2 b1 g1 g2
(b) sex-interlaced:   g2 b1 g1 b2

Which of the two is better?

In (a) b2 and g2 are giving their same-sex friends support from the sidelines. In (b) b1 is the hot guy between two girls and g1 is the hot girl between two guys. (b) boosts b1’s value in g1’s eyes more, especially if g2 and b1 connect reasonably (judgment-copying, jealousy). (b) also boosts g1’s excitement (or “buying temperature”) more, especially if b2 is a good and selfless wingman: provoking g1 a little to attract her in a controlled manner and then deferring to b1 very clearly and repeatedly, thus boosting b1’s value and redirecting the heat he created in g1 to b1. This, of course, takes a wingman b2 of considerable generosity.

So (b) is ideal is the main goal is for b1 to seduce g1. However, in either of the arrangements b2 is not in a good position to seduce g2.

To summarize, desirable arrangements are in bold below, with the goal that each optimizes noted after the arrangement. The non-bold arrangements are never ideal. Without loss of generality, we assume that b1 is to hook up with g1, and b2 with g2 and that the b1-g1 hookup has higher priority.

Sex blocks (only inner couple connects with support from same-sex friends on the sidelines: never ideal)
(1) b1 b2 g1 g2
(2) b2 b1 g1 g2
(3) b1 b2 g2 g1
(4) b2 b1 g2 g1

Sex-interlaced (most sexually dynamic, inner couple boosted in value and excitement, outer couple can’t connect well, good for inner-couple seduction or double seduction between the right couple and the left couple)
(5) b1 g1 b2 g2 (g1 has too much power)
(6) b2 g1-b1 g2 (best if b1-g1 is the only goal)

(7) b1 g2 b2 g1
(8) b2-g2 b1-g1 (best if b1-g1 is highest priority, but b2-g2 is a secondary priority)

Girl core (girls are the center of attention, boys lose value)
(9) b1 g1 g2 b2
(10) b2 g1 g2 b1

Boy core (isolation strategy: each boy gets to isolate the girl next to him)
(11) g1 b1 b2 g2
(12) g2 b1 b2 g1

Thus, all we need to remember is that sex-interlaced is best and that the center couple has the best chance to connect and get excited (b2 g1-b1 g2), but if there are to be two hookups, then the girl for the higher priority one should sit outside (b2-g2 b1-g1).


7 Responses to “Double-date bench sitting arrangements”

  1. Film Says:

    Any advice on a BBG seating arrangement?I was recently invited to a movie by a married couple.I’m single.I sat at the outer edge,wifey next to me,hubby on her opposite side.Felt kinda creepy.Where they suggesting somethin?Any observations?

  2. stagetwo Says:

    if you got a creepy vibe, it shouldn’t have come from that seating arrangement. was it something else perhaps? consider that there are only 3 possibilities: wife in the middle, husband in the middle, or you in the middle. the wife in the middle seems the most natural choice: it gives the woman the most attended and protected spot and suggests that the husband trusts you. you on the other side next to the husband would suggest that either the guy doesn’t trust you, or you are close friends with the husband but not with the wife. you in the middle would suggest that the wife is quite independent and that both of them are or intend to become close to you. even this could be innocuous: say you are a close friend who just lost his job and they want to make you feel integrated and loved. or it could be a sexual advance, if there is no such warm relationship between you and both of them yet.

  3. 11minutes Says:

    Excellent analysis.

    I would add that things to be static is never a good idea in seduction.

    Ideally, you start off with a seating arrangement that comes naturally to the girls since anything else will create a moment of awkwardness and break the flow.

    Here is what I believe to be a realistic scenario:

    I assume that most girl will try to sit in girl core.
    The guys thus have the choice between
    g g b b and
    b g g b.

    Just by gut feeling, I’d say that b g g b will create the higher sexual tension. Hence, I would start off with that arrangement and wait for an ideal moment to create some dynamics.

    A good way to do so is for the wing (b2) to pull away the obstacle (g2), say for a dance or “to show her something”. As they return to the seating arrangement, b2 now just has to be quick and place g2 next to b1 when sitting down.

    Another possibility is to start a “cross talk” that asks for a new seating arrangement.


    Things start out bad (though not too bad if b1 wants to gain g2’s approval first):
    b1 g2 g1 b2

    Now after winning the approval of g2, b1 should start talking to g1 and b1 jumps in and wingmans-away on g2. This talking passed each other is unbearable, and will make both girls comfortable with the idea of breaking up the girl core.

    In set, I would see that there are at least 1 or two such shuffles to keep things dynamic and help b1 towards isolation. There is nothing worse than being “frozen into position” during initial seduction.

    • stagetwo Says:

      great points! keeping things dynamic is definitely key, especially in the early stages of the process. but there are group situations (sushi bar, coffee table) further along in the process, where the dynamic slows and the arrangement is hard to break up for an hour or so. this can be a good thing. i was thinking of a particular situation: after dancing and walking around the city, the four of us had moved back to my hotel room for a drink in comfort — and i was a bad wing by sitting in the middle. i did enjoy the attention.

  4. Basil Ransom Says:

    A qualitative comment: when the guys are running the show, girls have less qualms about getting down and dirty. The biggest obstacle to girls being slutty is other girls judging. Conversely, when a girl’s friend is getting busy, you can bet she’s all the more ripe for the pickin’.

    I noticed this in Greek events at my school. In particular, I went on two wine tours, where a bunch of guys and girls get on a bus, visit wineries and get smashed. The first tour was thrown by a frat with a blanket invite of a sorority. The second was thrown by the same sorority, and the guys were chosen by the individual sisters’ going. Sure, a sister might a guy that she won’t hook up with. But the frat sponsored tour had people smashed and hooking up en masse, and the sorority one was overly tame.

    At least as I’ve had it, girls feel more comfortable fucking in your house with your friends than in their house next to their friends

  5. LandEnura Says:

    Lots of folks write about this issue but you said really true words!!

  6. Vergewaltigung in der Ehe abschaffen « Sophisticus Says:

    […] 4. Interessantes Gedankenspiel: In welcher Reihenfolge sollen 2 Männer und 2 Frauen nebeneinander sitzen? […]

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