Sex insurance: a “sex nurse” button on every bed

When someone gets laid less than three times a week, this should be viewed as a health emergency. Health care should kick in to solve the problem.

Universal health care should standardly include sex insurance, not just optionally like a vision plan. Should anyone ever be faced with such an unbearable situation (unless it is by choice), sex insurance would cover a visit from a prostitute.

Perhaps beds should be required by law to come equipped with a “sex nurse” button. Press it and someone sexy from the government comes by to help within 30 minutes.

Think of the consequences: Reduction in depression and suicide, especially among men. Reduction of sexual abuse and rape, especially of females. A likely reduction of crime and public aggression in general.

Importantly, sex insurance would put an end to exploitative abuse of sexual power. It would thus provide the basis for true gender equality.

This is what I call real health care reform.


8 Responses to “Sex insurance: a “sex nurse” button on every bed”

  1. 11minutes Says:

    NYT Op-Ed:

    “What was unusual about Sodini was how explicit he was in his blog about his personal shame and his hatred of women. “Why do this?” he asked. “To young girls? Just read below… It seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little [expletive] has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason.”

    I was reminded of the Virginia Tech gunman, Seung-Hui Cho, who killed 32 people in a rampage at the university in 2007. While Cho shot males as well as females, he was reported to have previously stalked female classmates and to have leaned under tables to take inappropriate photos of women. A former roommate said Cho once claimed to have seen “promiscuity” when he looked into the eyes of a woman on campus.”

    • stagetwo Says:

      exactly, these are crimes of desparation that these men would not have committed were they sexually satisfied — or just not total outcasts from the sexual market. that said, most of the many outcasts don’t act up and lash out so far.

  2. z.g. Says:

    Well, stage two, with the extensive health care available to females in the socialist countries, that should be an option available to men.

    As the supply of female sexuality is artificially restricted by females themselves, this would, like you say be one step forward to a balance in the sexual power.

    why do you think women are so against the oppression of the sex workers… against the fair trade of clearly stated commodity and price?

    A man with empty balls will not jump through all the hoops.

    Devlin touches sexual power in his Shalit review, and clearly states that “any attractive young female has more sexual power than a male world leader”… Just look at what happened to Obama, when he stared at a nubile, well shaped butt. H did not even act on his urges.


    Devlin’s essays should be made compulsory reading in any high school. Every year. Fuck it, every month.


    By now you know me, and you would not be surprised that when I say the total number of times four of my buddies got laid in the last six years is less than the number of times I got laid in the less six months, maybe in the last three months.

    These are good guys, intelligent, average shape etc. But I would not really be surprised if one of them would go amok one day.

    • stagetwo Says:

      zg, no. this option must be equally provided for males and females. and there should be equal pay for the job for both genders. and, of course, there must never be a shortage of sex workers. it has to be like jury duty: man or woman, you owe it to your country.

  3. alphadominance Says:

    Why not? After all it’s well documented that sex improves health in a wide spectrum of areas. It’s a national health care plan we can all get behind: the men who need a little strange and the disaffected wives who won’t put out.

  4. jack Says:

    Intriguing idea. The epidemic of wives who won’t put out is a national epidemic and scandal, and I don’t know why no one talks about it.

  5. JackAmok Says:

    “Press it and someone sexy from the government comes by to help within 30 minutes.”

    Yeeeeeeah. That’s the way it would be described when they voted for it. The way it got implemented would have a walking sea lion grunt her two-axe-handle wide ass through your door six weeks later, leaving pizza grease fingerprints all over your house.

    • stagetwo Says:

      hmmm, good point. how about this: she’s got to make you cum and take your load back, in her mouth, for DNA analysis. the department of health and human services will then verify that her mission was successful by identifying you from the sample, and she will get a small bonus payment. in case of an unsuccessful mission, a chick that is 1 point hotter is sent — but one day later. so if you can resist increasingly hotter chicks coming by to seduce you to the best of their abilities for 9 days, you’re guaranteed sex with a 10. solved.

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