Defining ‘nerd’

A nerd is someone who is focused on developing an explicit understanding of some content, rather than an intuitive feel for social dynamics. Because of the focus on content, a nerd will tend to miss the undercurrents of emotion and power in social interactions. A nerd can appear lost or out of touch, as a result of lacking a feel for what the interaction means to the power tectonics of the relationship with the other party.

Nerds are easily led. They tend to answer questions with naive accuracy.

The female sexual response is her emotional state multiplied by his perceived power. A male nerd is the prototypical anti-seducer because he doesn’t either create an emotional state or project power.

A woman of any sexual vibrancy will instinctually test for his tendency to be led within seconds of the the initial contact. If a tendency to be led is confirmed, she will be lastingly sexually turned off by the man. She might instantly turn cold, or she might remain warm, but in a merely friendly and asexual manner.

Whereas nerdiness is unsexy in males, it can be cute in females. Nerdiness emasculates, and so a man loses sexual appeal, whereas a woman might appear more feminine when her instinctual power play is tempered.

A male nerd can be sexy in a social environment like academia, which rewards his insights with status. A male nerd can also be sexy in conversation through direct intellectual domination of a female nerd who shares a deep interest in the same topics. This requires a subtle balance, as she needs to be intellectually inferior, but intelligent enough to feel her own inferiority. (If she is intellectually superior to him, she will be sexually turned off.)

Defining ‘nerd’ is a very nerdy thing to do. Although such a definition (and this entire blog) is about social dynamics (the nerd’s weak point, and arguably an unnerdy topic), it’s aimed at developing and explicit understanding, rather than an intuitive feel for it (thus nerdy).

Nerdiness becomes a problem, when you can’t switch it off. If you can be a nerd, but you can also play the game of social interaction with a bit of a streetwise feel for the underlying power dynamics, then you’ll be alright.

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6 Responses to “Defining ‘nerd’”

  1. Marcus Says:

    The female sexual response is her emotional state multiplied by his perceived power.

    Fucking good point.

  2. Linkage is Good for You: Christmastime Again Edition Says:

    […] Stagetwo – “Defining ‘Nerd’” […]

  3. David Collard Says:

    Yes, as a sort of nerd, I have found that it is important that a girl is clever enough to know how dumb she is compared with me.

  4. MaMu1977 Says:

    That’s not a nerd, that’s a “geek”. Nerds, for the most part, try to gain a wide knowledge of as many subjects as possible, whereas geeks will find something that interests them and try to learn as much as possible about that specific subject.

    Bill Gates-computer “genius”-geek-no extra pussy
    Ben Franklin-polymath-nerd-lots of pussy.

  5. Artful Dodger Says:

    I agree, except for the part about the woman being “lastingly sexually turned off by the man.”

    I can truthfully tell you that I have flipped the script on a number of women back in my “gameless” days.

    Ex. 1.
    I confessed my love for a girl my freshman year of college and bought her a teddy bear for Valentine’s Day. She put me in the friend zone.

    Outcome: I went shopping with her, and we ran into an ex of mine, who looked visibibly shaken at the sight of us together. I mean, this girl literally crumbled to pieces. After that confrontation, my friend became more than a friend.

    Ex. 2.
    I liked a girl and and allowed her to drag me around a party. She was a party girl, and I could never close the deal with her.

    Outcome: I took a date to a party that I knew she was going to be at. When she called a week later to chat, I told her I was busy and would call her back. I never called her back, and she called back again. And again. Tables turned.

    Ex. 3
    I told a girl I liked her. She gave me the poker face. I tried calling her to explain my feelings, but she wouldn’t answer the phone.

    Outcome: I coincidentally ran into her at a party with another girl. She followed us all around the party, made every effort to flirt with every guy within my field of view, and even dragged a guy onto the dance floor to slow dance right in front of us. When none of this worked, she stormed out of the party with tears in her eyes.

    Bottom Line: You can always get a chick with the right social proof, no matter how nerdy you are.

  6. Ian Ironwood Says:

    Being a nerd (geek) can actually come across as quite Alpha, if you do it right and you have utter confidence in your nerdy abilities. The idea that all nerds are social retards and completely socially inept is a stereotype — some nerds are quite adept at Game. And some are adept at social situations in general. There are whole aspects of Game open to nerds that other men miss repeatedly, in the belief that anything smacking of intellectualism is inherently Beta. The fact is, you can be a seductive nerd and actually do very well at it, if you understand the dynamics of it.

    Indeed, some of the best Gamers I know were hopeless nerds once. Then they studied. And when a nerd studies, its rare that he doesn’t grasp the essence of his subject.

    Oh. And nerds can become quite wealthy, thanks to their nerdiness. You might be a 4 in the looks department, but it’s amazing how high your rank goes when you add a few hefty IPOs to your game.

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